I am an arm
of my mutable memory;
an extremity of the epitome
of desperation; a prosthetic
of the drugs I swallowed and
sniffed and became. I am
gestating, a doomed
conception; a bastard
child of barren parent;
mind and heart fallow
but excited by the drugs
I swallowed and sniffed and
became. I am
the womb and the child,
a confused cluster fuck
I am what I deserve: mad,
nonlocal, a nonentity. I exist
outside the shell of my own
solipsism, in black space
beyond my own peripheries,
a forgotten god marooned
in tzimtzum; a rag doll
stuffed with the drugs
I swallowed and sniffed
and then became.
(1998)
