Check, Please!

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Once, while waiting to sit down for dinner at a local bistro, I realized something unprecedented had happened: I forgot to bring a book. As I dine alone whenever I dine out, this is a relatively serious problem. In the pre-smartphone era, I didn’t have the option of fiddling with a clever cellular app. I . . . → Read More: Check, Please!

At Least I Got to Drive for Five Hours in a Blizzard

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Late in the evening of November 14th of 2010, one of my favorite bands, The Decemberists, released their tour schedule for 2011. When I woke the next day to discover this, purchasing a single for the Toronto show (02/01/11) was virtually the first thing I did. I was still wearing my glasses. My breath still smelled . . . → Read More: At Least I Got to Drive for Five Hours in a Blizzard

Peregrine Carrots

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By the time I was seventeen years old, I had a drug problem. Chiefly, the problem was that I didn’t do drugs very well. I did them gracelessly, haphazardly; I was a madcap who generally pushed past a personal oblivion into territory that was, ostensibly, supposed to be spectacle, supposed to impress (Impress whom? was . . . → Read More: Peregrine Carrots

Good Jeans

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I learned to shop for clothing as an apprentice to a small brood of late-twentieth century women who, for some reason, saw me as one of their own.[1] And socialized in this way, I seem condemned to a complex, bipolar relationship with the idea and experience of any sartorial excursion. Like those hens to whom . . . → Read More: Good Jeans